Never Once


UNDER CONSTRUCTION

 

Recently, as I listened to Matt Redman‘s Never Once, the Lord reminded me of several situations I have gone through over the last few years.  In particular, He reminded me of his faithfulness to “‘never leave [me] nor forsake [me].’  So [I] can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my Helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'” (Hebrews 13:5c-6, ESV).

I will never forget the first time I cared for a terminal patient as she began the dying process.  She was from Eastern Europe, only spoke her native language, understood very little English, and had no one at the bedside to translate for her.  By the time I came on shift, she had already lapsed into a coma.  I spent most of the evening in her room talking to her because I hold the strong conviction that no one should die alone and without someone holding their hand telling them how precious they are in God’s sight.  Whenever I care for an actively dying patient who has no one at the bedside, I always ensure that either myself, another nurse, or a tech/unit secretary is in the room talking to the patient and holding their hand.

At one point during the night, I started singing various hymns.  She never responded to anything I did or said… until I began singing Abide With Me by Francis Henry Lyte (1793-1847).  The woman who hadn’t responded to anything I had done or said–even painful stimuli–and was very clearly near death opened her eyes, looked me straight in the eye, and feebly began singing along with me in her own language before lapsing back into a coma.

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My Hope is in You


UNDER CONSTRUCTION

God has powerfully used music in my life.  Even as I developed in my mother’s womb, my parents made sure that the music they listened to brought glory to God because they knew that God could use it to influence my life later on.  I went to my first concert at the age of eight months old.  My parents tell me that anyone could tell that I loved every moment of listening to Michael Card as he performed to God’s glory; to this day, his music remains among my most favored.  I love music and have sung in a church choir every year since the age of three years old.  Music is a wonderful asset in hiding the Word of God in your heart.  I cannot even recall how many times God has brought me comfort or shown me how to comfort someone else by bringing a hymn, an anthem, or a song to my memory.  In my last post, I mentioned God’s use of the anthem My Shepherd Will Supply My Need to remind me of His Presence in my life even when I felt abandoned and alone.

More recently, God reminded me of His loving Presence after a particularly difficult day at work.  I left work feeling completely defeated after a day filled with demeaning verbal abuse from a visitor.  This combined with the already overwhelming feelings, frustrations, and fears brought on by the trial I mentioned in my previous post left me feeling utterly defeated and hopeless.  As I drove home, Aaron Shust‘s recording of the song My Hope Is In You came on the radio.  I found my self crying for the third time that day; only this time, my emotions revealed the healing that God can bring through the sound of His Word set to music.

 “I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

My help comes from the LORD,

Who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;

He Who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He Who keeps Isreal

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your Keeper;

the Lord is your Shade on your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all evil;

He will keep your life.

The LORD will keep

your going out and your coming in

from this time forth and forevermore.”

~ Psalm 121 (ESV)

 

“Lead me in Your Truth and teach me,

for You are the God of my salvation;

for You I wait all the day long.”

~ Psalm 25:5 (ESV)

My Hope Is In You
I meet with You and my soul sings out
As your word throws doubt far away.
I sing to You and my heart cries,
“Holy!  Hallelujah, Father, You’re near!”

My hope is in You, Lord.
All the day long, I won’t be shaken by drought or storm.
A peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing, “My hope is in You, Lord.”

I wait for You and my soul finds rest.
In my selfishness, You show me grace.
I worship You and my heart cries,

“Glory!  Hallelujah, Father You’re here!”

My hope is in You, Lord.
All the day long, I won’t be shaken by drought or storm.
A peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing, “My hope is in You, Lord.”

I will wait on You.
You are my refuge.
I will wait on You.
You are my refuge.

My hope is in You, Lord.
All the day long, I won’t be shaken by drought or storm.
My hope is in You, Lord.
All the day long, I won’t be shaken by drought or storm.
A peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing, “My hope is in You, Lord.
My hope is in You, Lord.
Yeah, my hope is in You, Lord.”

~ April Geesbreght 2010

Arr. Aaron Shust 2011

A Year of Firsts


UNDER CONSTRUCTION

 

Since my last post, I have considered what I would write about in my next post.  I finally decided upon the topic as I checked my Facebook notifications.  Today marks another year of bringing glory to God and enjoying Him forever (The Westminster Divines, 1648).

Like most people, as my birthday approached I found myself pondering the events of the past year of my life.  I discovered a common thread intricately woven into those moments: a year of firsts.

My 22nd year commenced with my first semester as a college senior and final year of nursing school.  I also started my first nursing position at Parkland Memorial Hospital as a Nursing Student II on a Trauma-Surgical Unit.  Through this job I gained a variety of experiences that I know will continue to benefit me throughout my nursing career.  In school, I took care of my first pediatric patient, visited my first psychiatric hospital, attended my first AA meeting, participated in my first Code Blue, and many other things–not to mention passing HESI (much to my IMMENSE relief!) and completing my first nursing degree!

The next significant first involved obtaining my first job as a Registered Nurse.  Unlike my past experiences with job interviews, my nursing interviews did not yield the desired fruits–or so I thought.  Every job I held before becoming an RN, I obtained with relative ease–always receiving a positive response.  I expected the same results for my nursing interviews.  In fact, I had the arrogance to place my trust in my resume and interviewing skills.  Proverbs 11:2 states, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom” (ESV).  I must have filled out 30-40 different applications, but I only heard back from about 13 positions and only then to receive rejection after rejection.  Pinning and Graduation Day came and went without an assurance of a job and I found myself wallowing in a deep pit of self pity and anger at God for “letting this happen to me.”  But God is not a man that the unbelief, the faithlessness of a man should hinder Him from His set purpose.  God in His wisdom, as a loving Father, humbled me in order to refine me and to remind me to trust in Him and not myself (Hebrews 12:5-17, ESV; Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV)).  After all the graduation festivities were over, I finally recognized and confessed my sin in not trusting God to provide for my needs; later that same week, I received a call from Kelli, my current manager, offering me a position on her unit (Matthew 6:25-33, ESV).  I have never ceased to thank God for not giving me what I wanted, but instead, placing me according to His plan.  I have learned that the world’s best does not always coincide with God’s best and I know that God’s best always supersedes and outshines that which the world can offer–even if we do not always recognize it at the time.

I now had a job to look forward to; my first position as an nurse!  Starting on June 7, 2010, I had only two concerns during the two weeks that past between the day that I accepted the job and my first day of orientation: my Graduate Nurse (GN) Permit and NCLEX.  Texas State Law requires that all new nursing graduates hold a valid GN Permit before taking part in any patient care.  This time, however, I acted as I should have done during my job search: I sought God’s face, told Him my concerns, and trusted Him with the results (Matthew 7:7-11, ESV).  My GN permit arrived the day before my first scheduled shift on the unit.  Three weeks after starting my job I sat for my boards.  Again, my first inclination pushed me to doubt God’s sovereignty over my situation and to mistrust His plan for me.  Romans 8:27-29 states,

“And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.  And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.  For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in or that He might be the firstborn among many brothers” (ESV).

Also, it says in Ecclesiastes that “for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (3:1-8, ESV).  I knew, therefore, that although I had no guarantee that I would pass NCLEX I knew that I could trust God with my future no matter what the outcome because “all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28, ESV).  By God’s grace, I earned my first Registered Nursing license on July 6, 2010!

Many other “firsts” have happened to me in the year that has elapsed since October 24, 2009.  However, I will conclude with what I consider to be the most life-changing event of that year.  Every nursing student learns about the phenomenon known as “nursing intuition” during their time in nursing school.  The first recollection I have of “nursing intuition” took place during my first semester in Texas Woman’s University’s College of Nursing.  My first Medical-Surgical Clinical Professor talked about “nursing intuition” many times–both in the clinical, laboratory, and lecture settings.  She explained “nursing intuition” as a gut reaction to a patient or situation.  As we gained experience as nurses, she told us that we would come to instinctively know when something was not right with our patients, that we would learn to trust that feeling, and that we would learn to move heaven and earth to obtain whatever our instincts led us to believe our patients needed.  I did not expect to have my first experience for several weeks, even months after beginning my first nursing job.  In fact, I truly did not expect it until after I came off of orientation four months down the road.

Kelli, my manager, hired me to work the night shift (7pm to 7am).  However, she had me begin orientation on day shift (7am to 7pm) for the first two months before switching me over to finish the last two months of orientation on night shift.  God blessed me with many, many experienced and gifted preceptors–both day shift and night shift.  One of the first preceptors Kelli paired me with on day shift was T.J.   During my second shift with T.J., I had my first personal experience of “nursing intuition”.  T.J. assigned two patients at the start of our shift for me to care for specifically.  The day wore on and appeared uneventful until around 5pm when I went into the room of one of my patients to “round” on him.  My eyes took one look at him and I just knew that something had changed.  That instinctive reaction led me to complete another full head-to-toe assessment on my patient and yet I found nothing had changed when I compared it with my morning assessment.  Rather than relieve my concern, this only served to heighten the urgency I felt.  I went and found T.J. and told her what had happened.  She also came and looked at our patient only to obtain the same results as me.  I next went to the charge nurse and asked her to also look at this patient.  When she also did not find anything significant, I simply made note of everything that occurred in his chart and made sure that I warned the night shift nurse to keep an eye on him.  The next day T.J. and I both worked.  However, I was paired with a different preceptor and had a different set of patients, so I did not see much of T.J. until we both took our lunch breaks.  While we ate our lunches, T.J. told me that the condition of the patient I had been concerned about had worsened.  She told me that my warning had kept her vigilant and had helped prevent the patient’s death.

Since that day, I have encountered many similar situations and have learned how to advocate for my patients.  I also came to the firm conviction that “nursing intuition” is truly the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It took me over a month to realize this truth.  My preceptor, T.J., is a strong Christian woman.  Of all the staff on duty the day I cared for that man, she alone took my concern seriously.  She did not wave off my concerns as the over reaction of a GN because she recognized what I had yet to learn: the Holy Spirit had prompted my concerns.

References

The Westminster Divines. (1648). The Westminster shorter catechism: With scripture proofs (B. Aguilera, Ed.).

My Grace is Sufficient


UNDER CONSTRUCTION

I have found that creating a blog is very easy.  However, creating a post to a blog is a completely different story!  This situation reminded me of my junior year at The Potter’s School when I studied under Nikki Troxell in her Grammar Review & Composition Course (G&C).  Mrs. Troxell has a gift for writing as well as teaching.  Long story short, her class kicked my butt!  As a result, I learned how to write effectively and this skill has greatly benefited me in the years since I took that class—particularly during my collegiate career.

As I thought over what subject I would use for my first blog post, I wondered why I struggled to write this first post.  I remembered wrestling with the same issue when I first began G&C with Mrs. Troxell.  At that point, I recalled why I had found writing so difficult: I sought to write with my strength, my wisdom, and my thoughts and rejected the idea of leaning upon God for these things.  Proverbs 29:23 states, “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor” (ESV).  When I eventually recognized my folly in trying to separate God from any part of my life—even my school work—I humbled myself and sought His face in all that I did.  My writing and grades improved as a result, my stress dissipated, and my work glorified God (Deuteronomy 8:2-3, ESV).

2 Corinthians 12:9 by Theologigal, 2011

2 Corinthians 12:9 by Theologigal, 2011

In much the same way, I recognize that pride acted as my stumbling block in writing this post.  I forgot my new identity and instead reverted back to the old habits of my past life; I forgot “My Grace is Sufficient” (Ephesians 2:1-10, ESV; Ephesians 4:17-24, ESV; Proverbs 16:18, ESV; & 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, ESV).

My whole purpose in starting this blog is to make public the stories of God’s grace in my life and to provide examples of God’s power made perfect in my weaknesses.  I am a Christian.  I am also far from perfect.  God did not adopt me because I earned the right to the name “Christian” (Romans 5, ESV).  He made me His own in order that His glory might shine brightly in spite of my shortcomings.  In this way, He ensures all creation bears witness to His all-sufficient grace and omnipotence (Matthew 19:16-30, ESV; 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, ESV).

“But He said to me, ‘My Grace is sufficient for you, for My Power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, ESV).

Godspeed,                                                                                                                                                   Kaitlin O’Hearn, BS, RN

References

James, B., Lindsey, H., & Sampson, G. (2013). Jesus, take the wheel [Recorded by D. Bradbery]. On Jesus, take the wheel (The voice performance) – single [Mp3]. Universal Republic Records.

Ledner, M. J. (Lyricist/Composer). (2004). You are my hiding place [Recorded by Selah (A. Hall, T. Smith, & N. S. Sponberg)]. On Hiding place [Mp3]. Curb Records.

Maher, M., & Tomlin, C. (2004). Your grace is enough [Recorded by C. Tomlin]. On Arriving [Mp3]. Six Steps Records.

Morgan, R., & Fielding, B. (2006). Mighty to save [Recorded by L. Story]. On Great God who saves [Mp3]. Fair Trade Services/Sony Music Distribution. (2008)

Morgan, R., & Fielding, B. (2006). Sólo Dios puede salvar [Recorded by En Espíritu y en Verdad]. On Luz y salvación [Mp3]. En Espíritu y en Verdad. (2008)

Mosley, S., Schultz, M., & Wood, T. (2012). All things possible [Recorded by M. Schultz]. On All things possible [Amazon Mp3]. Columbia Records/Fair Trade Services.

Theologigal. (2011, October 19). [2 Corinthians 12:9 by theologigal]. Retrieved from http://theologigal.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/bible-verse-2-corinthians-my-grace-is-sufficient-for-you-for-my-power-is-made-perfect-in-weakness1.jpg

Watts, I. (Lyricist), Funk, J. & Thomson, V. (Arrangers), Resignation (Southern Harmony) (Tune Name), & Anonymous (Composer). (2010). My shepherd will supply my need [Recorded by The Choirs of Washington National Cathedral]. On America the beautiful [Amazon Mp3]. Washington, District of Columbia: Washington National Cathedral. (October 7, 2004 – November 12, 2004).